Why women find it hard to invest in themselves
Hands up: who has invested money in THEMSELVES lately? I mean, really taken a big chunk of money and put it towards something that is worth changing in your life?
I'll put my hand up. I did. And it was the scariest thing I'd ever done.
Would I do it again? In a heartbeat.
What it did for me was prove that I value myself and what I believe I was born to do. Let me tell you the story:
As you may know, personal development and living purposefully is my passion. Just like 'fitness fanatics' gym everyday, I do mindset work. Every. Day. There is not a moment when I don't look at a situation and ask, 'How can this help me to become the best version of myself right now?'
And to top it off, what lights me up even more, is knowing the potential of someone else who is ready to take that step and then to walk with that person to that place. It's my calling.
I've known for many, many years that this is the work I have been in training all my life to do (through the experiences I've had and the educational paths I followed), but I held myself back with some of the most common stories I hear from women:
- Who am I to do this work?
- Why would anyone want to pay me for this?
- What if I can't make the difference I really want to make in the world?
- What if I fail? Or, God forbid, what if I succeed?
- What if I am judged?
- Who would choose me when there are so many other amazing people out there doing the same thing?
- How selfish would it be to put money into this when my family needs so much?
I went for years and years pushing aside my desire to coach women. I kept telling myself the above stories and others (read about the top 5 reasons women resist investing in themselves here).
I had started up a business – a copy-writing and email marketing consultancy – because those were where my strongest skills and experience lay.
After all, what did intuition have to do with anything? (I told myself)
'Stick with what you know,' I told myself.
So, I chose my target market carefully: Spiritual, Transformational and Life Coaches. Why? Because if I couldn't be one (due to my own limiting beliefs), I could at least support them to grow their businesses.
Then one day someone asked me, 'Karen, is this business in alignment with your big vision for your life?' My reaction inside was, 'Don't ask me that! It will mean I have to rethink everything...I would have to start from scratch'.
That question started a conversation deep inside myself, though. I began to question what I really, really, REALLY wanted from my life.
What I wanted was a business that was driven by my passion; that flowed from my heart-space, knowing that I was living my purpose and making a massive difference in the world. I wanted to be generating wealth so that I had money to support others and to hold retreats in luxury locations around the world.
How could I do that when my heart wasn't really in this business? When I was living vicariously through my successful clients; silently wishing I had my own 6-figure coaching business and empowering women to connect with their intuition and step into their own purpose?
The day I said out loud to someone, 'What I REALLY want to do with my life is coach,' everything changed. I got into my car and noticed the odometer tick over to 44444; I had turned 44 earlier in the year; I remembered that the numbers I randomly chose for all my passwords going back years were – you guessed it: 44. Clearly, it was time.
Now I had heard about a business mentor who had a 6 month program that would teach me how to build my coaching business.
The investment was thousands of dollars. I didn't know where I would find the money, but my intuition was telling me that there was no turning back from my declaration to step into my purpose. This was the next step for me.
What I was looking for was not only business skills, but the personal development work that goes with growing a business – those fears of being not good enough, or not qualified enough, or that others may have way better skills than me.
This mentor knew her stuff. I knew that she understood energy and law of attraction and how mindset is the key to success in everything. I knew that she would 'get' me and would be able to help me with those things that I so easily help others with, but sometimes struggle to work out for myself.
I had a third of the amount in my savings. I put the rest on my husband's credit card, knowing I'd have 55 days interest free to hustle and call in the money. By the time the 55 days rolled over, which was just as the program started, I owed about 1/6th of the amount, which I managed to make in a couple of weeks.
During the 6 months that I participated in the program, I not only made back the full amount again (doubling the initial investment), and just after I had finished the program I had a week in my then 6 month old coaching business that saw me earn $3687, which was around half of my original investment.
What if I had chosen not to invest in myself? What if I had continued to run a business that just ticked over because I wasn't truly connected to my purpose? [I let go that business, by the way]
What if I had not taken the leap and followed my intuition?
I would not be standing in this place now; where my future looks so exciting and abundant, and what I do every day excites me like nobody's business!
My family are thanking me for my 'selfish' decision because my kids now have a mother who is the living, breathing example of what it means to follow what lights you up by putting yourself first; my husband has a wife who is fulfilled and feels alive and doesn't bother too much anymore about how much time he's spending on the couch in front of the TV because she is too busy having fun!
So, beautiful woman, if you have come to a point in your life where you KNOW there is more, and you believe that you are ready to step into your full worth, and you meet someone who can coach you to your full power and purpose, then DO IT. Sign up – no matter what the price is, because you can't put a price on living the best version of yourself (and I know for sure that it is the nature of the universe that you will make the money back, because you are focused on what lights you up – and what lights you up is supposed to bring you abundance and freedom and happiness).
Oh, and I do want to add that 'investing in yourself' is not only about money – it's really about investing time in doing things we love, of being kind to ourselves, of looking for ways to feel good in every moment. Here's a great article if you'd like some ideas: Top 10 Ways to Invest In Yourself and Why Its So Powerful - I love how number 2 is 'honour your intuition'! I'd actually put that at number 1 ; )
I'd love to know what the biggest investment you've made in yourself was and how you benefited? It may just inspire someone else to do the same x
Tell me in the comments, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you intuit that I may be the one to help you out, then book a 30 minute complimentary session with me and we can check out if we're a fit. I don't sign up everyone. If I sense you are not ready, or if you would be better fit with someone else, I will tell you.